T.A.D.

That's "Trump Anxiety Disorder," and I am not the only one suffering from it. It's really a thing. And it's getting worse. I try to treat it with music, poetry, chocolate, and alcohol. None of that is working. Maybe if I write about it, I can purge some of it?

Perhaps #1 on my list of favorite songs is Jackson Browne's "The Pretender." And of all the amazing lyrics of that song, there is this one: "I want to be a happy idiot . . . " Seriously, I envy those people who go about their lives, paying no attention to the politics of the day. And maybe there was a time when I was busy birthing babies and paid little attention myself. Somewhere between Watergate and Trumpism, there was a seemingly safe time to avoid the political rancor and watch soap operas instead. Now, I know it wasn't really "safe." There were those endless wars, a failing economy, environmental threats, terrorism, climate change, hanging chads, and politicians' dalliances that were akin to the juiciest soap operas. But somehow, as much as I shook my head in consternation over these external events, I was able to live my busy life without losing my shit over any of it.

Those days are gone. T.A.D. has impacted every aspect of my life. My dreams, although not political, are disturbing. I don't sleep well. I wake up feeling defeated. I struggle all my waking hours to NOT turn on the TV. Distraction is my best friend, but too often, distraction becomes distracted and abandons me. In other words, I am in a major funk.

If you are not suffering from T.A.D., you may wonder why so many of us are afflicted. I'd say it's mostly fear-based. We are afraid of what this unhinged narcissist might do (as if caging babies at the border weren't bad enough). We are afraid that our system of checks and balances may be undermined by a complicit Republican party. We are afraid that Mueller's investigation might be sabotaged. We are afraid that our beloved country is becoming an oligarchy. We are afraid of more wars. And more mass shootings. We are afraid of the enabling of white nationalism, anti-semitism, and voter suppression. We are afraid of the overturn of Roe v. Wade, the abandonment of the separation of church and state, a continued dumbing down of public education, and significant damage to our environment.

We are afraid that our First Amendment Rights are being systematically dismantled. Freedom of the Press has never been more important . . . or more threatened.

And we are afraid that truth is no longer a requirement in government.

These fears are real. And never in my lifetime have I been this afraid.

Yes, turning the House blue again was encouraging. Did it humble the administration in charge? Not at all. The divisiveness continues, fueled by a scared and arrogant president who continues his lies, his abuse of the Constitution, and his egomaniac fantasy of being "the only one" who can fix things, democracy be damned.

Okay, do I feel better now? No. Where's my chocolate?