Boulder

You might think we'd be used to this by now. There have been 103 mass shootings in America since 2013. (A mass shooting is defined as "a shooting incident which results in four or more casualties excluding the shooter.") Maybe 103 doesn't sound like a large number, so let's look at another statistic: since 2013, the total number of "gun violence deaths" in America is 9,535. And obviously, these mass shootings did not begin in 2013. In my memory, it was the Columbine killings that brought us to our knees. That was in 1999. The year 2012 gave us the Aurora, Colorado murders. In that same year, 26 people were murdered by a disturbed 20-year-old man with a "scorn for humanity" and a gun. That mass killing, at Sandy Hook Elementary School, claimed the lives of 20 children between the ages of six and seven. Wasn't that the one that we thought would finally inspire changes in America's gun culture?

Columbine. Aurora. Sandy Hook. Charleston. Parkland. Atlanta. Those names are forever connected to horrific mass murder. And now Boulder.

The attached photo was taken in November 2018 on Pearl Street in Boulder. That's me and my daughter Jenna, posing with the bronze buffalo statue designed by Stephen LeBlanc. Jenna lives in Boulder, a bucolic small city on Colorado's front range. It is home to the University of Colorado, a charming downtown, more than a few aging hippies, and a peaceful attitude. Yesterday's murders took place two blocks from the apartment Jenna first lived in when she moved there.

Jenna is safe.

I'm having a hard time. Aren't you?

The night before yesterday's murders, Ed and I watched the HBO documentary on QAnon. We couldn't even see it through to the end, in such despair over this growing dysfunction in America. We are a country rife with mental illness and more guns than common sense. Add a pandemic to the mix, and it's hard to maintain perspective on the meaning of life.

I grew up in a house with guns. My father was a hunter. Memory tells me that his rifles were housed in a gun cabinet that he, a woodworker, built. Whether it was locked or not, I can't remember. I may or may not remember where in the house the gun cabinet was located. What I do remember is that guns were for hunting, and despite my distaste for venison, I have never held any prejudice against those who choose to kill their own game. My son and his wife hunt, as does Jenna's soon-to-be husband. Some of us in my family are vegetarians. To each his/her own.

But I have never been able to wrap my head around America's obsession with guns. I hate the NRA. I continue to be angered by those who misinterpret the Second Amendment to justify their "right" to accumulate weapons. And how many does any one person need? Seriously.

Thoughts and prayers. Yeah, that works.