Today has another, very different meaning to me. It was FIFTY YEARS AGO today that I graduated from high school! Now, I just said it has meaning to me, but does it really? In hindsight, it was a day that marked the end of my public education and the beginning of . . . life? As for the day itself, I remember very little. After the ceremony, my parents took us out to dinner, something that we rarely did. I remember my father thinking he could order me an alcoholic drink to celebrate my graduation into adulthood. He was annoyed and insulted when the waitperson said that I could not be served alcohol, as the drinking age in New Jersey was 21. And that's really all I remember, although I probably made up for the alcohol-free dinner at one of the all-night graduation parties.
I have three kids who graduated from high school, and of course, I attended the ceremonies. As any parent would be, I was proud of them. I had enough pride for two parents, as their father was not alive to express his. Sometimes, those milestone events, like holidays, are just reminders of what we've lost.
Last week, news circulated on social media that a senior at the local high school, the same high school that I attended and taught at and from which my kids graduated, committed suicide. I do not know the family, and I do not know any details of his decision to end his life, but I am full of sadness anyway, as are most of us who've heard the news. And we all have the same unanswered question: why would an 18-year-old take his life? What, we wonder, could have been so bad? It is painful to think about what this year's graduation day will mean to the family of that young man.
It is easy to opine, especially at my age, about how the young don't know what lies ahead, that surely life gets better, that nothing can be so bad that suicide is the only answer. But the truth is that life doesn't always get better. Sometimes, it even gets worse. Life is messy. It is rife with pain. Break-ups, untimely deaths, car accidents, weather-related devastation, divorce, cancer, murder, mass shootings, poverty, homelessness, rape, robbery, bullying, and the list goes on. Lots of pain to go around. It's a wonder we don't all check out.
So why don't we? Well, there is work to be done, for one thing. Preservation of the earth's beauty, education of our children, the never-ending fight for equality and justice. There is art to be made, poetry to be written, songs to be sung, gardens to be planted, baseball games to be played, mountains to be climbed, waters to be swum. There are cupcakes to be baked, letters to be written, puzzles to be solved, books to be read, ice cream cones to be licked. There is marching and protesting and voting to correct injustice. There are the hungry to feed, the homeless to shelter, the mentally ill to counsel.
There are children who are in pain. We need to help them. Let's start with the 2000 children who have been separated from their parents and "placed in detention" in Texas. Perhaps correcting that horrific policy will be a start toward creating a world in which the pain that life offers will not undermine the simple joy and beauty of life on this earth.
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
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